![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
elissandeLast night I did an audition for chamber group in the choir. Why does this make me happy – because it actually went quite well. Usually I get very nervous – really.very.stupidly.nervous!
When I get that nervous, strange things happen to my ability to process sound. I can hear, I just can’t process very quickly. Not just music. When I gave my first talk at a conference (in front of people who had written the textbooks) I was so nervous, I actually processed about one word in four. It’s a good thing that it was a different part of the brain that was doing the speaking (they asked reasonable questions, so I think they understood what I was saying) but the lack of feedback made things very difficult.
Same thing usually happens when I audition but then I really need the auditory feedback!
Somewhere in the last couple of years I’ve reduced the nervousness to something manageable. Not completely sure how, but I think it must be a combination of learning the harp (better processing skill, perhaps) and getting a small singing group together last year which put me in a relatively exposed situation without quite the nervousness of a ‘test’.
This isn’t to say that it was a totally brilliant audition, but a much better reflection of my singing abilities than previous ones. And I don’t harbour any delusions of being a diva.
When I get that nervous, strange things happen to my ability to process sound. I can hear, I just can’t process very quickly. Not just music. When I gave my first talk at a conference (in front of people who had written the textbooks) I was so nervous, I actually processed about one word in four. It’s a good thing that it was a different part of the brain that was doing the speaking (they asked reasonable questions, so I think they understood what I was saying) but the lack of feedback made things very difficult.
Same thing usually happens when I audition but then I really need the auditory feedback!
Somewhere in the last couple of years I’ve reduced the nervousness to something manageable. Not completely sure how, but I think it must be a combination of learning the harp (better processing skill, perhaps) and getting a small singing group together last year which put me in a relatively exposed situation without quite the nervousness of a ‘test’.
This isn’t to say that it was a totally brilliant audition, but a much better reflection of my singing abilities than previous ones. And I don’t harbour any delusions of being a diva.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2006-06-21 01:07 am (UTC)I totally feel your pain though. I haven't auditioned for anything since before I joined the SCA and my last audition was AWFUL! I was auditioning for a musical with the Sutherland musical society. Had to audition in front of a crowd and they weren't a nice audience. Tough crowd, audition sucked majorly and I bummed out (didn't even get into the chorus!).
I suspect though that now, because of all the work I do in the SCA, be it with the band, in the singing group or as a soloist, I would probably walk into an audition and do far better than I used to and I put it largely down to confidence (though having to speak publicly, say in court, scares the daylights out of me!)
So, good for you, sounds like you're starting to kick the nerves...and we all know you're a diva...in front of the mirror :)